escapades of a musical narniac

It's a school thing. School should perish.





So... 2011 is upon us. It's weird. I keep thinking ahead, like this year is gonna fly by like last year did. I'm doing alright with my first ever resolution, which I'm proud of myself for, a feat that doesn't happen often. Piano's going great too; I taught myself how to play Miracle by Paramore the other day. Yay!





I think I'm going to attempt the video thing again. (I know, I know, I've been saying that for a year, but I'm reeeally gonna try my hardest, honest!)





I did something last week, haha. My pop visited from Pennsylvania, and he took my younger sister and I out shopping. And... well...





I bought myself a shiny silver torch for $13.95 at Target. It's amazing. And bright. And takes these massive batteries that are wayyyy too fun to juggle. I wouldn't recommend shining it in your own eyes. I walked around with these spots in a circle bursting in front of my eyes for about two hours. Not the smartest thing I've ever done... Edmund makes it look easy.





On a sadder note, I am now in trouble with the law. Yep, you read that right. I accidentally kept my library books out longer than I was supposed to, and now have a fine of approximately one dollar and ten cents to pay up next time I go to the library. Wow. They must think I'm completely off my rock for keeping the Prince Caspian Movie Storybook and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Illustrated Movie Companion four days later than I should.




The things I do for Narnia.


Stay legit.


<3

Three simple words have hit me this day:

Life
is
hard.

You can form your own opinions, but I think I'll stick with mine for now. Not that they are rock solid, but there are some things I will not tolerate.

I don't believe that she's in Hell, so never make the mistake of telling me that's what you think. I don't believe that God took her, so that would be a double punch to the gut if I heard that either. I don't believe that things are ever that bad, but I also believe in a Devil that never sleeps. He's wreaked havoc this year, and now, between Christmas and New Years, a 16-year-old's eyes closed, never to see 2011.

And it hurts. More than I imagined it would. Not that I imagined that I would ever hear this, but everyone wonders what it would be like if they knew someone who did this or that. I just never thought that I ever would. It's as if I have this invisible list of things that I never thought I'd have to face in my life, and, in 17 years and seven days, I have experienced almost every one of them. I won't lie. It's terrifying. Satan has never been more real to me than he is now.

Yet still, God has never been more real to me either. I see Him moving even now, still directing and guiding all of our broken spirits. Tomorrow night is going to be interesting, in a sense. I do hope that everyone pulls together, and no one tries to break anyone else apart. That, to me, would be the biggest insult. The loudest smack in the face to her family. Her friends. Anyone who loved her. God. Her memory. Her.

I don't know why. But I don't need to. What matters to me is the fact that she did do it at all, and that we have to stick together in order to get through this. What matters is not that we are all in pain, but what we do with that pain. Now is not the time to point the finger. Now is not the time to feel guilty. Now is not the time to ask what we could have done to stop her. Now is not the time to make this about us and our own individual, selfish ache. Now is the time to remember. Now is the time to reflect. Now is the time to never forget the love that a beautiful soul showed us in such a cruelly short period of time.

Needless to say, tomorrow will be a very emotionally draining day. It's times like these where I always step back and thank God for my family who have supported me through the pain I was completely broadsided with when I woke up this morning, and my very life, which I take for granted all too much.

Who would've thought forever could be severed by, the sharp knife, of a short life?

Rest in peace, MJL. You will be missed dearly.


<3

Well, yesterday I became 17. I'm getting old. It's scary.

But on the plus side, it was a fantastic day. On top of my family gifting me with the Lifehouse album that I wanted (!!!), I finally got them to go with me to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and, believe it or not, it got the older-sibling-and-mother seal of approval! It made my heart glow in all the colors of the rainbow, I won't lie. I think the best part was that there was this group of boys in the cinema with us who were seriously hardcore Narnia fans. It was epic. They were cheering and clapping and bowing and standing up out of their seats at all the right times. Twas so epic, in fact, that my little sister and I joined in. By the time Edmund stabs the sea serpent at the end of the film, we had the whole theater cheering and clapping. It was quite the birthday experience, I won't lie.

I played the piano for a while for the first time in two weeks yesterday, as well. Turns out that my memory runs further than I thought it would.. I was able to still recall every song that I know, which is pretty impressive, and a huge relief. I won't be spending that much time away again!

Alright, so I'm too lazy to make a widget for current playlists on iTunes that you should check out (if ye dare!), so I'll just put it in this post.

1. Pick Up The Phone - The Notwist
2. Brand New Colony - The Postal Service
3. On Peak Hill - Stars
4. Wild Horses - The Sundays
5. One With The Freaks - The Notwist
6. Skinny Boy - Amy Millan
7. Honey And The Moon - Joseph Arthur
8. Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
9. Blue Smile - Oren Lavie
10. Vapour Trail - Ride
11. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
12. Florida Rain - Matt Bauer
13. Don't Let Your Hair Grow Too Long - Oren Lavie
14. So Long, Lonesome - Explosions In The Sky
15. The Calendar Girl - Stars

In other album-related news, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' "The Hell Or High Water" is pretty tight. I think we both know what that means. Time to go give it a listen!

Stay legit.


<3

I didn't think that I'd say this, but.. I miss my used-to-be best friend. Like CRAZY. It's weird. Every time I think of him, it's like there's this gnawing in my stomach. He's gonna be 17 next month, and, reading a line addressing this on his sister's blog, it made me realize how fast we're getting older, and how distant we're growing apart. It hurts. Bad. And I'm a cry baby, so I cried. A lot.

I think that writing a song about this might suffice for now, but later? Who knows where the wind will carry my ever-present mixed emotions. I'd send him a message, or slide him a note, but I have no idea what I'd say. How are you? How's life? How's, well, everything? All of these things seem like questions I'd ask him before, but not now. I feel like I've lost the right to ask such friendly questions. I feel like I wasn't the friend I always promised I would be. I feel like now, our closeness is a thing of the past.

We used to be much more muchier.

We've lost our muchness.

...

*sound of weeping*


<3

I suppose you've guessed by now that my act of pure stupidity was because of the newest VDT trailer on Yahoo Movies. Gahh! I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!! It made me smile

THIS.
BIG.

I can't get over how excellent it looks. My little sister and I were whooping the other night when we first saw it. (We were also commentating on it.. "Ooo, Edmund looks SPIFFY!!").

Well, in other news, I have officially decided that Speak Now, Taylor Swift's third album, completely and undoubtedly blows Fearless out of the water. I taught myself how to play Last Kiss on piano about a week or so ago, and am currently working on Haunted. I know, I know, why can't I pick one of the happy songs to learn how to play.. ? I have no idea.

But, on the plus side.. me thinks I have finally solved the camera problem! I should be able to start uploading videos on here of piano playing wonder.

Hoo-HAH!


<3





(Because the fate of Narnia seriously depends on the viewers.. and I want The Horse and His Boy, dangit!!)

You don't hear that every day, now DO you?

But seriously. They're amazing. I just.. ahem.. came into possession of my older sister's Don't You Fake It CD, and I think that I'm going to enter into holy matrimony with it. Okay, maybe not, but you get the picture.

GASP!

You know what THIS means?!

I FINALLY have an album to put as the AOTW!

Ahhh, finally. The world is back in balance.


<3

I am officially obsessed with Narnia. Not even kidding. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is looking more and more amazing, I can't WAIT for it to grace theater screens everywhere in December!

I'm acutally supposed to be cleaning my room, but.. mehhh.. I'm taking a break. I've been at it for four hours.. that warrants a break, right?

National Novel Writing Month is next month, and I have yet to complete my outline for my story. *facepalm*. I've got the "Promotional Goodie Bag" folder on my computer to fill up, too. Great Scott. I'm going to have a stroke before November hits, mark my words!

Also, I decided against getting my hair chopped off. The emotional weight of recently losing Gran has a lot to do with it, I'm guessing, but still.. I want to make sure that it's what I acutally want before I just go and do it. I'm weird like that.

I began a nightly workout in my room around 2AM two days ago, cause I'm just a rebel like that. I have come to realize that I desperately need to get into shape and at least attempt to bulk up a bit. Being very nearly 17 (!!!) and -100 lbs. is not exactly a good thing. Ending up in the hospital really isn't on my to do list for the coming months. Then how would I go see VDT?!

NOW you see what I am up against.


<3