escapades of a musical narniac

Three simple words have hit me this day:

Life
is
hard.

You can form your own opinions, but I think I'll stick with mine for now. Not that they are rock solid, but there are some things I will not tolerate.

I don't believe that she's in Hell, so never make the mistake of telling me that's what you think. I don't believe that God took her, so that would be a double punch to the gut if I heard that either. I don't believe that things are ever that bad, but I also believe in a Devil that never sleeps. He's wreaked havoc this year, and now, between Christmas and New Years, a 16-year-old's eyes closed, never to see 2011.

And it hurts. More than I imagined it would. Not that I imagined that I would ever hear this, but everyone wonders what it would be like if they knew someone who did this or that. I just never thought that I ever would. It's as if I have this invisible list of things that I never thought I'd have to face in my life, and, in 17 years and seven days, I have experienced almost every one of them. I won't lie. It's terrifying. Satan has never been more real to me than he is now.

Yet still, God has never been more real to me either. I see Him moving even now, still directing and guiding all of our broken spirits. Tomorrow night is going to be interesting, in a sense. I do hope that everyone pulls together, and no one tries to break anyone else apart. That, to me, would be the biggest insult. The loudest smack in the face to her family. Her friends. Anyone who loved her. God. Her memory. Her.

I don't know why. But I don't need to. What matters to me is the fact that she did do it at all, and that we have to stick together in order to get through this. What matters is not that we are all in pain, but what we do with that pain. Now is not the time to point the finger. Now is not the time to feel guilty. Now is not the time to ask what we could have done to stop her. Now is not the time to make this about us and our own individual, selfish ache. Now is the time to remember. Now is the time to reflect. Now is the time to never forget the love that a beautiful soul showed us in such a cruelly short period of time.

Needless to say, tomorrow will be a very emotionally draining day. It's times like these where I always step back and thank God for my family who have supported me through the pain I was completely broadsided with when I woke up this morning, and my very life, which I take for granted all too much.

Who would've thought forever could be severed by, the sharp knife, of a short life?

Rest in peace, MJL. You will be missed dearly.


<3

Well, yesterday I became 17. I'm getting old. It's scary.

But on the plus side, it was a fantastic day. On top of my family gifting me with the Lifehouse album that I wanted (!!!), I finally got them to go with me to see Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and, believe it or not, it got the older-sibling-and-mother seal of approval! It made my heart glow in all the colors of the rainbow, I won't lie. I think the best part was that there was this group of boys in the cinema with us who were seriously hardcore Narnia fans. It was epic. They were cheering and clapping and bowing and standing up out of their seats at all the right times. Twas so epic, in fact, that my little sister and I joined in. By the time Edmund stabs the sea serpent at the end of the film, we had the whole theater cheering and clapping. It was quite the birthday experience, I won't lie.

I played the piano for a while for the first time in two weeks yesterday, as well. Turns out that my memory runs further than I thought it would.. I was able to still recall every song that I know, which is pretty impressive, and a huge relief. I won't be spending that much time away again!

Alright, so I'm too lazy to make a widget for current playlists on iTunes that you should check out (if ye dare!), so I'll just put it in this post.

1. Pick Up The Phone - The Notwist
2. Brand New Colony - The Postal Service
3. On Peak Hill - Stars
4. Wild Horses - The Sundays
5. One With The Freaks - The Notwist
6. Skinny Boy - Amy Millan
7. Honey And The Moon - Joseph Arthur
8. Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine
9. Blue Smile - Oren Lavie
10. Vapour Trail - Ride
11. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
12. Florida Rain - Matt Bauer
13. Don't Let Your Hair Grow Too Long - Oren Lavie
14. So Long, Lonesome - Explosions In The Sky
15. The Calendar Girl - Stars

In other album-related news, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus' "The Hell Or High Water" is pretty tight. I think we both know what that means. Time to go give it a listen!

Stay legit.


<3

I didn't think that I'd say this, but.. I miss my used-to-be best friend. Like CRAZY. It's weird. Every time I think of him, it's like there's this gnawing in my stomach. He's gonna be 17 next month, and, reading a line addressing this on his sister's blog, it made me realize how fast we're getting older, and how distant we're growing apart. It hurts. Bad. And I'm a cry baby, so I cried. A lot.

I think that writing a song about this might suffice for now, but later? Who knows where the wind will carry my ever-present mixed emotions. I'd send him a message, or slide him a note, but I have no idea what I'd say. How are you? How's life? How's, well, everything? All of these things seem like questions I'd ask him before, but not now. I feel like I've lost the right to ask such friendly questions. I feel like I wasn't the friend I always promised I would be. I feel like now, our closeness is a thing of the past.

We used to be much more muchier.

We've lost our muchness.

...

*sound of weeping*


<3

I suppose you've guessed by now that my act of pure stupidity was because of the newest VDT trailer on Yahoo Movies. Gahh! I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!! It made me smile

THIS.
BIG.

I can't get over how excellent it looks. My little sister and I were whooping the other night when we first saw it. (We were also commentating on it.. "Ooo, Edmund looks SPIFFY!!").

Well, in other news, I have officially decided that Speak Now, Taylor Swift's third album, completely and undoubtedly blows Fearless out of the water. I taught myself how to play Last Kiss on piano about a week or so ago, and am currently working on Haunted. I know, I know, why can't I pick one of the happy songs to learn how to play.. ? I have no idea.

But, on the plus side.. me thinks I have finally solved the camera problem! I should be able to start uploading videos on here of piano playing wonder.

Hoo-HAH!


<3





(Because the fate of Narnia seriously depends on the viewers.. and I want The Horse and His Boy, dangit!!)

You don't hear that every day, now DO you?

But seriously. They're amazing. I just.. ahem.. came into possession of my older sister's Don't You Fake It CD, and I think that I'm going to enter into holy matrimony with it. Okay, maybe not, but you get the picture.

GASP!

You know what THIS means?!

I FINALLY have an album to put as the AOTW!

Ahhh, finally. The world is back in balance.


<3

I am officially obsessed with Narnia. Not even kidding. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is looking more and more amazing, I can't WAIT for it to grace theater screens everywhere in December!

I'm acutally supposed to be cleaning my room, but.. mehhh.. I'm taking a break. I've been at it for four hours.. that warrants a break, right?

National Novel Writing Month is next month, and I have yet to complete my outline for my story. *facepalm*. I've got the "Promotional Goodie Bag" folder on my computer to fill up, too. Great Scott. I'm going to have a stroke before November hits, mark my words!

Also, I decided against getting my hair chopped off. The emotional weight of recently losing Gran has a lot to do with it, I'm guessing, but still.. I want to make sure that it's what I acutally want before I just go and do it. I'm weird like that.

I began a nightly workout in my room around 2AM two days ago, cause I'm just a rebel like that. I have come to realize that I desperately need to get into shape and at least attempt to bulk up a bit. Being very nearly 17 (!!!) and -100 lbs. is not exactly a good thing. Ending up in the hospital really isn't on my to do list for the coming months. Then how would I go see VDT?!

NOW you see what I am up against.


<3

Yeppers, you read that right. I'm doing something I've thought about many a time before, but never came through with. I am about to undergo something so unnatural.. so haneous.. so scandalous!..

I'm going to get my hair cut short.

Like.

SHORT short.

Okay, so it's not THAT exciting. But every time I think of a brand new me, it's weird. I want to do something totally random and different, no matter how many people stare at me for a moment to question my sanity when I tell them that I'm doing it. Well, a professional (and hopefully understanding) hair dresser is. I don't claim to know the first thing about taking scissors to hair. I don't plan on telling much of anyone outside my family, mostly because I already have people staking claim to certain curls on my head. Geez, people. It's not like I'm taking a buzz saw to my head or anything. It'll be alright. I promise!

In writing news, I had a revelation as I was listening to music on the ol' iPod last night and trying to fall asleep, and found myself sitting bolt upright in my bed, pretending to talk to someone on the phone and acting out what I think is a great way to kick off the rest of the novel I'm currently working on. Mmhmm, you guessed it. The mystery side of me is BACK, and I'm kicking out the sequel to the harrowing adventure entitled "The Letters" (and I make referrence to not the story, but the adventures I had while writing the story).

Which, of course, means that the musical part of my brain kicked me a few times before I finally rolled myself back out of bed, picked up my drumsticks, and began beating my poor, innocent pillow in the rhythm of a few experimental score tempos before it took revenge on me by not supporting my head all night long. These are the advantages of having a queen size bed.. I just switched sides and used the other set of pillows. (I should probably consider marrying a very, Very, VERY patient, understanding man).

My "Let's Get Megan Her Own Keyboard For Her Room" fund isn't doing so hot. I keep praying that a kind-hearted anonymous donor will show up and hand me a check with a gazillion dollars on it.. but then I realize that if they're actually handing it to me, they won't be anonymous, and it completely defeats the purpose of a generous anonymous donor. Shoot.

Anyways, right now, I'm perfecting a few original things that I hope to someday share with the world, but my camera has other ideas. (I shake my fist at you, Kodak Easy Share!!) In the meantime, I can always sail around to my heart's content on Narnia.com, which is my new obsession. Er, rather, new, uh, intense fascination! Yeah. That works.


<4

(I was informed by Marco after using a typo while trying to tell him that I love him (how embarassing!) that typing "<4" instead of "<3" is a better way of telling someone you love Love LOVE them. Which means that my "stage name" has to go from "lessthanthree" to "lessthanfour". Darn that Marco kid. If creativity had a face, I'd be left-hooking his.)

I am an optimist by default. When faced with something negative, I always try to think of something good that either already exists in the face of the negative thing, or drum up something in the long run that will be good. It's imperative for the human mind to default to optimism.. without it, there is no way of making it through this life. I'm sure of it.

Which is why people most often come to me, because they need an optimistic person to lean on. And I can understand that.. but why take my advice and think I'm wonderful, and then act like I don't exist the next day? Sure, they spoke to me once afterward, but that was just because Hannah was around.. why is it so easy to kick me to the curb like that? It's not fun. At all.

This is where bands like Lifehouse save my butt from pessimistic thoughts. They're officially my new favorite band of all time. I think I almost died when I heard Sick Cycle Carousel.. it's EXACTLY what I was just thinking, in musical form. Otherwise known as: musical perfection.

In other news, yesterday, around 600 people from my church went out and did odd jobs around schools all over the place.. and we were featured on EVERY major news channel in Virginia, and two major newspapers. It's AMAZING what God can do with one group of determined people. To Him be the glory!!

The night before, I was up pillaging the internet for new music to listen to, and realized when I layed down in my bed at around 5 in the morning that I had to be up in two hours, and needed DESPERATELY to wash my hair.

So, I did what any logical human being would do.

I leaped out of bed and got a shower at 5AM.

Somehow, showers at 5AM are soooooo much better than the ones at night or later on in the morning. I have no idea why.

The only downer to this is that I've been feeling really sick lately from lack of sleep. Huh. Who would've thought?


<3

One of them bit in between my index finger and my middle finger. Ouch. I think my hand is going numb. I killed it when I felt it bite me, and I had a mini heart attach because I thought it was a spider.. I'm arachnophobic. I've slayed many of their ranks, but alas! They come by the dozen! Needless to say, so far..

ANTS: 1
MEGAN: 0

Fiddlesticks.


<3

The title basically says it all.

Oh, that and I wrote lyrics today for the first time in a while. I think they have a sort of hold-hands-and-skip-through-a-field-all-Taylor-Swift-style feel to them.. what do you think? I got the inspiration from, you guessed it, talking to Marco earlier today just a bit. Sheesh, what can I say? The boy inspires me!

Tomorrow I'm auditioning for a permanent place as a vocalist in my church's high school youth praise band. Gahh! I'm really nervous!! It doesn't help that I'm a total procrastinator, and haven't practiced the entire week and a half that we've had the material for the audition.. I'm cramming the lyrics to these songs BIIIIG time when I'm supposed to be sleeping tonight!

Later lovers.


<3

Google Schuyler Fisk, and Joshua Radin. Just do it. Don't ask questions, just DO it. There's a song by both of them, but their individual stuff is amazing too. I found them through their mutual song "Paperweight", which, by the by, is gorgeous! It's like musical poetry.. a breath of fresh air. AMAZING.

I really am in love with Songs That Say Goodbye (Schuyler Fisk) and When You Find Me (Joshua Radin). Both beautiful, whisper-rock kind of songs that just make my heart soar. Those, and Sky (Radin). It's super cute! Reminds me of that special guy in my life.. !!!

Well, I'm off. We've got a cousin and two of his friends visiting for the day, and I think we're going to get some pizza for dinner. Yum. Until later, loves!


<3

So I'm sitting here.. quarter to four.. listening to Rascal Flatts.. and trying to figure out whether I should Facebook IM him, or if he's going to IM me. Oh dear. Wouldn't it be silly if we were both doing the same thing? Wouldn't surprise me, honestly!

I think I might be crazy. I'm staring at his name with as much "Son of a muffin, just MESSAGE me already!!" power that I can possibly muster. I think I need immediate medical attention.

**EDIT**: I diiiid it! I messaged him first. Ugh. I am so weak!!


<3

It brings about thoughts such as, "You can do SOOO much better than him sweetie. It's alright, it happened to me too. Hey, we should start a bookclub!.. World's largest teenage girl bookclub!"

I'm so mean.

To be continued, I have to go to church.


<3

I adore this one. Very much so. It's great in length, and I really like the colors.. too bad it's strapless. Strapless things and I.. well.. let's just say that we don't get along so well. Loving the color and design of this one. But, again, everyone wears this shade of blue to prom. Dang flabbit.

I LOVE this one!! Too bad it's white.. with as pale as I am, white completely washes me out. Shoot.

Little black dress? Yes please.

LOVE the strap on this, it's pretty nifty-looking.

So I'm Googling prom dresses, cause I'm cool like that, and I think I've got a pretty good idea of what I should look for next year..


I like how this one's darker than most.. I also really like the design of it. Gah. So pretty!

I really like the colors on this one.. not so much the style, but it's still nice.

I love, love, LOVE this one in every way, shape, and form. The color? Awesome. The style? Epic. The length? Amazing. Too bad everyone and their sister wears teal/blue to prom. Poop.

I love how this one is unique.. you really don't tend to see people wearing orange and green to prom. I think I'd feel like a little woodland pixie in this. Like Tinker Bell.. but cooler.

I super love the lace on this one.. not too crazy about the colors, but whatever. Lace is loverly.

Anyways, I'm going to prom next year, whether I go solo or not is yet to be determined. But, whatever the case may be, now I know what to look for!

Gosh. I need a life.

I figured today that, since music means so much to me, I should dedicate an ENTIRE blog just to my random adventures when it comes to music. Mmhmm. That's right. Hardcore, I know. Plus, it'd be neat to have something like famous artists have to tell everyone what they're up to now. So, ten years from now, people can come and read this and know exactly what I did before I was a recording artist. ...I dream big. (x

Today I played piano for a total of thirteen minutes, which is REEALLY short for me. But, it was fruitful.. I figured out that everything sounds prettier and much more lullaby-like a few octaves higher, and it is extremely fun to slam out a rock song on nothing but the piano. The slightly wimpy Casio that I'm playing, however, would probably beg to disagree. But, it's the only piano in the house, so I'm not complaining.

I AM, however, complaining that the videos I managed to record are epic failing to upload to any website whatsoever. Facebook. Blogger. EVERYWHERE. Dead. Nadda. Zilch. Not even a single note has made it into internet exsistance. I would try YouTube, but.. ahhh.. I see how mean people can be on there, and I'm, well, I'm delicate, so I don't think I could take any criticism from random strangers I'll never meet if I could manage to get them on there.

Anyways, the current song obsessions are..

- Give Me a Sign by Breaking Benjamin: I taught myself how to play this from scratch yesterday afternoon. It's one of my favorite songs EVER, so it was really worth all the hassle of trying to find that first note or those pesky left hand chords.

- Never Say Never by The Fray: Ahhh, a classic. Never gets old.

- Rolling Clouds by Brian Crain: It's a pain in the butt somedays, but it's worth it to hear it every so often. Now, if only I could get the last part so I can play the whole, legit song..

- A little something I cooked up, in honor of my favorite piece of fictional literature in the WORLD.. yep, you guessed it.. NARNIA. It's a medley of "Evacuating London" from the first film, and "Can't Take It In", which is the song that plays first in the credits of the first film. It's pretty snappy, I must say, but still needs a bit of work. But it's fuuuuuuun!! (I have it on video, but, due to either my computer or the internet being a total popcorn, you can't listen to it, now CAN you?)

- Xion by Yoko Shimomura: If you go to my songbook, you can listen to this one.. it's absolutely AMAZING, and one of my all-time favorites.

And I believe that covers basically everything. Until later!


<3